


Giving and Receiving

by barbitone



Series: Voltron Fanfiction [50]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, First Time, Light Bondage, M/M, Oral Sex, Porn with some plot, Power Dynamics, Rimming, Spanking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-18
Updated: 2019-07-19
Packaged: 2020-05-14 08:29:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19269502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/barbitone/pseuds/barbitone
Summary: Since his father refuses to train him in combat, Lotor intends to find someone who will. Sendak is the best, so Lotor goes to him despite his misgivings. Of course, nothing comes for free and Sendak wants something scandalous in return.





	1. The Arrangement

**Author's Note:**

> I guess this is potentially dubcon? Maybe? I mean. It's pretty consensual but the set up is not 100% on the up and up. Sendak and Lotor make a deal to exchange combat training for sex, but ultimately it works out ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 

* * *

 

Lotor couldn’t help scowling as he looked down into the training pit where the Emperor, _his father,_ was training with Sendak. Fury coursed through him as he watched Sendak block a particularly nasty blow as Zarkon’s lips quirked up ever so faintly into an expression vaguely resembling a smile.

He’d never smiled at Lotor, never even come close to it.

Lotor tightened his hands over the railing of the walkway overlooking the training pit. He felt cold and nauseous, like there was something heavy and unpleasant stirring in his gut. He’d asked his father to train him, _begged_ him, really. And what had he gotten in return? Pure scorn and disgust, as though what he was asking was something dirty.

He knew he was a weakling and a halfbreed but how could he get stronger if no one gave him the chance? If no one taught him? His lessons with Dayak had given him some combat practice but it wasn’t enough, and he could tell by watching the soldiers that she wasn’t teaching him Galra forms but something different. Maybe she thought he was weak too.

He tightened his lips into a thin line as he turned away and walked back to his rooms, fighting to keep a stony expression on his face as he went. He wanted to fight for his Empire, he wanted to be strong and to make his father proud. For that he needed training. If his father wouldn’t do it, he’d have to get lessons from someone else.

The thought of what he had to do made him want to puke but he had no other choice. He needed to be taught by the best. The best was Zarkon- and that wasn’t an option. But maybe second best would do.

 

* * *

 

He had to steel himself before knocking on the door and fought not to fidget as he waited for it to open. Beyond all, he must exude strength and confidence. Nothing less would lead to success.

“Prince Lotor,” Sendak said when he opened the door.

“Lieutenant Sendak,” Lotor said stiffly.

“Can I help you?” Sendak asked with a smirk.

“As a matter of fact, you can.”

Sendak seemed taken aback, the smirk fading for a moment before it was back in full force. “How so?”

“I want you to train me in combat,” Lotor forced himself to say. It was humiliating having to even ask, but what else could he do? He needed training and Sendak was the best option available to him. It didn’t matter how much he hated the smarmy bastard. Sendak had everything handed to him on a silver platter while Lotor had been forced to scrape himself raw for just a few scraps. And why? Because Sendak was big and _Galra_ while Lotor was just a halfbreed? He was still the prince, the Emperor’s own son, though that seemed to count against him more than anything.

“No,” Sendak said.

“What do you mean _no,”_ Lotor demanded, his voice dropping dangerously.

Sendak only seemed increasingly amused at Lotor’s anger. “I mean _no,”_ he said with a chuckle. “I’d really rather not. Good night, Prince Lotor.” He went to close the door again but Lotor shoved his foot into the door jam, scowling harder.

“It wasn’t exactly a request, _Lieutenant,”_ he growled.

“So you _demand_ that I train you?” Sendak asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yes!” Lotor hissed. “Demand, command, whichever. I want you to train me and that’s the end of it.”

“See, I don’t think it is,” Sendak said, crossing his arms over his chest. “How exactly do you intend to force me to do such a favor for you? You have no real power around here- do you, my prince?”

“I have enough power to make sure something very unpleasant happens to you should you refuse,” Lotor threatened, furious and ashamed. He shouldn’t have to resort to such dirty tactics just to get what he felt was his due. Was it really so much to ask to be treated with some basic respect? To be taught to fight just like every other Galra in the Empire?

“I’m not so interested in your threats,” Sendak said casually. “But maybe I’d be interested in a trade.”

Lotor scoffed, setting his hands on his hips. His cheeks were hot with shame and rage and he wished he’d never come here at all- but it was too late for that now. If he left without getting what he wanted he could only imagine the horrible rumors that would be spread about him, how he’d groveled at Sendak’s feet.

“What do you want?” he gritted out through clenched teeth.

“You,” Sendak said with a smirk. “I’ll train you, and in return I’ll have you. No less than once a cycle, but I could be persuaded to accommodate you, should you find yourself wanting it more often.”

Lotor’s eyes widened in shock as he took in what Sendak was suggesting. “That’s- that’s- how _dare_ you!” he exclaimed. The pure gall of it! The very idea that he’d allow such a thing in return for lessons was shocking and- and- foul. “I’m not some- _whore,”_ he hissed while Sendak looked back at him impassively.

“Those are my terms,” Sendak said with an easy shrug, his smirk growing more sly.

Lotor narrowed his eyes as he realized what Sendak was doing. He was offering a trade that he knew Lotor would turn his nose up at in the hopes that Lotor would simply leave this alone. Well.

That wasn’t the sort of man he was.

He’d heard enough stories about such things to know how horrible and unpleasant it would be. But it wouldn’t kill him, whereas not knowing how to fight and protect himself very well could. And it was only once a cycle. Surely he could handle something like that? Maybe Sendak was just bluffing, maybe he wouldn’t even go through with it. Lotor knew how disgusting the other Galra found him. Likely Sendak didn’t even want him, he was just trying to scare him away.

“Very well,” Lotor said, shocked at the sound of his own voice.

Sendak’s mouth fell open in surprise and he seemed taken aback. Lotor enjoyed the sight of it for a scant few ticks before reality asserted itself once again. What had he just _done?_ He was a fool, the worst fool in the Universe-

“Fine,” Sendak said, regaining some of his composure. “Come to my quarters tomorrow night-”

“Do you take me for a fool?” Lotor spit out. “You think I’ll let you fuck me right away so you can renege on our deal? I’ll have at least a cycle’s worth of lessons before I do- _that.”_

“Fine,” Sendak said.

“Fine!” Lotor hissed.

“Meet me in the training yard then, tomorrow night. And we’ll begin.”

“Good,” Lotor said before turning on his heel and taking his leave. He wasn’t sure what he’d gotten himself into and he was too terrified to think very hard on it. All he could hope for was that he hadn’t just bitten off more than he could handle.

 

* * *

 

He half expected the training yard to be empty. It would have been easier if it had been empty. But Sendak was waiting there for him just as he’d said he would be.

Lotor walked over, gripping the handle of his sword tightly to try and center himself. This was it. There was no going back now.

“Show me your stance,” Sendak said. Lotor fell into the stance most favored by the Galra warriors he’d seen only for Sendak to shake his head in displeasure. “That can’t be what your Dayak’s been teaching you,” he scoffed.

“It isn’t,” Lotor said, flushing at having made a fool of himself so early.

“Show me what she’s taught you, then.”

Lotor shifted, moving his feet closer together and turning his body more to the side, lowering his sword arm.

“Better,” Sendak said. “If you intend to succeed you must learn to turn your weakness into strength and your enemy’s strength to weakness. You have a small frame, so you’ll have to rely on speed and cunning. You’ll have to learn to put more force into your blows by using your entire body, not just the strength of your arms like a full blooded Galra might.”

He proceeded to show Lotor a number of different strikes and parries, and by the end of the session they had a short spar that left Lotor pinned on the ground with Sendak’s sword at his throat.

“Very good,” Sendak smirked. “Until tomorrow.”

He stepped back and walked away without another word, leaving Lotor staring after him.

After that they met up every night for training, Sendak keeping his word through it all. Lotor only grew more nervous, knowing that soon he’d have to keep his.

On the last day of the cycle Lotor managed to disarm Sendak in their nightly spar and they wrestled inelegantly on the ground until Sendak had him pinned beneath him, Lotor’s arms trapped above his head in Sendak’s iron grip.

Sendak was smirking as he fought to catch his breath and Lotor couldn’t help being painfully aware of Sendak’s weight on top of him, Sendak’s thigh between his. He shifted to try and get away but it was no use, and then he felt it- something hard and hot pressed against him. Sendak was hard and Lotor swallowed nervously, his eyes wide with fear.

Was this it? The moment? Would Sendak take him right here in the training yard?

“Come to my rooms in one varga,” Sendak said, his voice low and slightly hoarse. He pulled back and stood and finally Lotor could breathe again. “Wear something sexy,” Sendak said with a laugh and left.

It took all his strength not to yell something nasty after him but somehow Lotor managed to contain himself, standing as well. He was shaking as he made his way back to his rooms and stripped out of his training clothes so he could bathe.

He knew it would be bad, painful. But it would be over quickly enough, surely he could grit his teeth and simply- _bear it,_ get through it somehow. He wasn’t a stranger to pain, and although this threatened to be something far different, he knew he could take whatever Sendak had in store for him.

The thought of wearing something _sexy_ was preposterous, so Lotor simply put on one of his tight fitting flight suits and pulled his hair back into a simple braid. His hands were trembling as he stood before the mirror in his room, and with a sharp sigh he went to the cabinet and pulled out a bottle of whisky, pouring a healthy serving into the glass before throwing it back.

He couldn’t be drunk, he knew that. It wasn’t safe. But maybe he could take the edge off, just a little. For a brief moment he thought about backing down, simply… staying in his rooms, forgetting any of this had ever happened. He discarded that thought almost as soon as he had it.

He’d never have gone to Sendak in the first place if he wasn’t desperate.

As he walked through the halls his mind was filled with doubts. Maybe Sendak would laugh and turn him away. It was preposterous that someone like him would find someone like _Lotor_ even remotely desirable. Maybe it was a trap of another kind. Maybe Lotor would come to Sendak’s rooms to find Haxus and Lahn and any number of cronies waiting for him, waiting to take a turn-

Lotor shivered as he stood before Sendak’s door, too afraid to knock. He’d never get anywhere if he let his fear take him. He shoved it away and knocked, jerking when the door slid open.

He stepped inside and scanned the room, relieved to see it empty except for Sendak sitting at his dining table. He was only wearing a soft pair of trousers as he cradled a glass of something that might have been whisky. The door slid shut behind Lotor with a decisive sound and he felt frozen as Sendak looked at him.

“Well,” Sendak said at last, running his eyes down Lotor’s body. “I was hoping for something… sexier.” He laughed and finished off his drink, standing. “Lingerie, perhaps. Or maybe a gauzy robe.”

Lotor scowled in response, taking a nervous step backwards. “Just because I agreed to- to- _this-!_ It doesn’t mean I’ll play the role of your- _slut.”_

“Shame,” Sendak murmured. “I would have quite liked to see that.”

Lotor exhaled sharply, anger rising through him. He should have known. He should have known this was just some game meant to humiliate him. “That wasn’t what we agreed,” he managed testily. “If that’s what you’re expecting perhaps I’d better go.”

He turned to leave only to gasp when Sendak moved to slam his hand against the door, trapping Lotor between the solid steel and Sendak’s bulk behind him.

“You’re right,” Sendak said, his voice low and breathy. “That’s not what we agreed.” He set his other hand to the door, leaving Lotor well and truly caged in. His breath caught in his throat as he waited for what would come next.

Sendak leaned forward to nuzzle the side of Lotor’s neck, his hot breath making Lotor shiver.

“Unless this little show of indignity was a ruse so you could leave while saving face?” Sendak murmured, his lips brushing against Lotor’s skin as he spoke. “You can stop this any time you like, my prince. I’ll not keep you here by force.”

Lotor scowled even as his breath quickened. Even now Sendak was trying to back down from their deal and it was infuriating. Lotor would call his bluff; he’d have what he wanted no matter what.

“No response?” Sendak asked, trailing his hand down Lotor’s side to his hip. “Funny, coming from you-”

“Get _on_ with it,” Lotor bit out. The faster this was done with the faster he could return to his rooms and try to gather the broken pieces of whatever dignity he had left.

“As you say,” Sendak chuckled, pressing closer.

Lotor expected to be dragged over to the bed or maybe bent over the dining table. He expected Sendak to be rough and cruel, not- whatever was happening. Sendak kissed the side of his neck and let his hands roam over Lotor’s body, caressing his chest, his hips, his thighs. When one of his giant hands fell to Lotor’s groin he had to bite his lip to hold in a gasp.

Despite everything, it felt _good_ to be touched like this. He leaned his forehead against the cool metal of the door as Sendak unfastened his flightsuit, pulling it down to his waist. Sendak pushed his legs open wider and stepped even closer, pressing the whole length of his body against Lotor, pressing his hard cock to Lotor’s ass. Lotor screwed his eyes shut and gritted his teeth as Sendak slipped a hand inside his flight suit to stroke his cock.

He wasn’t going to moan; he had enough self control not to make a complete fool of himself. But he couldn’t stop his breath quickening or his heart pounding. Sendak teased his earlobe with his teeth as he twisted his hand, caressing the bottom of Lotor’s cock in the most perfect way, and Lotor’s breath hitched. No one had ever touched him like this and it was different than touching himself, so much more intense. He was trembling, his knees threatening to buckle. But Sendak’s other arm was around his bare chest, keeping him standing.

His cock was leaking steadily and he couldn’t stop it, couldn’t stop how good this felt. All he could do was tighten his hands into fists against the door and try not to be too loud as he panted against the metal, shaking in Sendak’s arms.

It might have been easier if Sendak were taunting him, if this was unpleasant. But it was so good he was dizzy with it. Sendak sped up, drawing an unwilling moan from Lotor’s lips. He was hot all over with shame and pleasure, just on the edge of coming.

Sendak had to have known it too as he mouthed at Lotor's neck, practically purring with satisfaction. Was this what he wanted? For Lotor to lose control just from this? Or would he be angry if Lotor made a mess of himself so soon?

“S-Sendak,” Lotor breathed out, trying to warn him to stop or else-

“It's alright,” Sendak murmured, “let go for me, sweetheart.”

He sped up and Lotor came with a sharp inhale, shuddering as Sendak kept stroking him slowly. His knees buckled but Sendak tightened his arm over Lotor's chest to keep him standing.

Sendak finally let go of Lotor's cock and Lotor turned his head just in time to see Sendak raising his hand to his mouth to lick the cum off his fingers. Lotor's eyes widened as he bit back a gasp, not sure what he was feeling.

“Some say you're a deviant,” he said in shock, “but I didn't think it was true until now.”

Sendak shrugged and raised an eyebrow. “If all I wanted was my own release I could have used my hand. I prefer to savor all aspects of the experience. If that makes me a _deviant_ then so be it.”

Maybe it was Sendak’s unconcerned grin, maybe it was how strangely good Lotor felt after his orgasm, but he found himself laughing. Sendak’s grin widened until he was laughing too. He turned Lotor around and pressed him to the door with a grip on his hips, smearing cum over Lotor’s flight suit and skin.

“Disgusting,” Lotor managed, wrinkling his nose. Sendak ignored him to lean in and kiss him. Lotor gasped and shut his eyes, trying to follow Sendak’s lead and kiss him back. Galra didn’t kiss like this, but he’d seen other species do it on occasion when he visited the colonies. He’d wondered what it was like, if it would be good.

It wasn’t what he’d expected. He’d half worried it would feel foul- too wet, too intimate. He’d imagined bad breath and slobber and that couldn’t be farther from the truth. Sendak’s lips were hot and firm against his; his mouth didn’t taste of much at all aside from the faint note of whiskey. Sendak set his hand on Lotor’s jaw, urging him to open his mouth, and when Lotor did Sendak swiped his tongue inside. He couldn’t help moaning, the sound coming out muffled. It was strange and oddly wonderful to be here, kissing while trapped between Sendak’s powerful body and the unyielding metal of the door.

Sendak pulled back to look at him and Lotor let his head fall back against the door, trying to catch his breath as he stared up into Sendak’s eyes.

“Do you want to keep going or do you want to stop?” Sendak asked.

“What?” Lotor asked.

“Do you want to stop?” Sendak repeated, slower.

Lotor frowned as he tried to figure out Sendak’s motives. Was he trying to weasel out of their deal yet again? To trick Lotor into breaking his word so he’d have an excuse to stop their lessons?

“We made a deal,” Lotor said. “I’m not going to be the one to break it.”

“Lotor,” Sendak said, his voice breathy and oddly exasperated.

“What?” Lotor bit out. “I’m not a coward. I gave you my word.”

“You know what-” Sendak started before sighing and rolling his eyes. “Fine.”

“Fine!” Lotor said.

“Fine,” Sendak hissed and bent to grab Lotor and sling him over his shoulder while Lotor yelped.

“Is this really necessary?” he demanded indignantly as Sendak carried him over to the bed and dropped him into the sheets.

“No, but it’s fun,” Sendak said with a grin before pulling off Lotor’s flight suit completely and dropping it to the floor. He stripped out of his pants and Lotor’s eyes widened as he saw his cock for the first time. It was huge, ridiculously so. There was no way that thing was going to fit inside him and he suddenly realized that at some point he’d forgotten his fear. It slammed back into him all at once and for a moment he couldn’t breathe.

He briefly considered backing out after all, running away-

Sendak set a knee to the bed and bent to kiss him again, the length of his naked body pressing against Lotor’s. It felt oddly good, or good enough that Lotor lost track of his train of thought as he wrapped his arms around Sendak’s neck, sinking his fingers into the thick hair of his crest. He could feel himself getting hard again, his cock stirring against Sendak’s thigh. He flushed at the thought of it but Sendak made a small pleased sound and pulled back from his mouth to kiss his neck, his chest, moving inexorably downwards.

“You can’t be serious,” Lotor said as he realized what Sendak was planning. He really was a filthy deviant, a pervert of the highest order-

“Can’t I?” Sendak asked with a smirk and took Lotor’s cock in his mouth.

“Ah!” Lotor cried out, nearly jerking off the bed in shock at the feeling of Sendak’s hot wet mouth around him, the tight ring of his lips sliding down his length. Sendak took him by the back of the knee to drape his leg over Sendak’s shoulder, his touch easy and confident like he owned him. The thought of it made Lotor’s cock twitch and he screwed his eyes shut, throwing a hand over his face.

It would be less embarrassing if he couldn’t see it happening, except having his eyes closed somehow made it feel more intense. And… he couldn’t say he hated it. He wanted to hate it, but instead he was burning up with desire. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. He hadn’t been prepared for it to be like this.

He jumped again when he felt a cool touch move over his balls and lower, rubbing at his entrance. He looked down to see Sendak staring up at him inquisitively and promptly closed his eyes again, breathing hard as he let his head fall back to the pillows. He wasn’t going to _watch_ Sendak fucking him. It was bad enough to have it happen, and to watch would be-

He swallowed hard.

“Relax,” Sendak murmured. His finger felt slick as he rubbed Lotor teasingly.

Lotor gritted his teeth, trying not to whimper. Why didn’t he just _do_ it already? Why draw it out? “I’m relaxed,” he managed.

“Right,” Sendak said and moved to suck him down again. Lotor moaned despite himself, his back arching as his body moved into Sendak’s touch without his permission. It was at that moment that Sendak pushed a finger inside him and Lotor’s moan hitched, turning into some strange choked off sound. It wasn’t entirely unpleasant, just strange and way too intimate. The thought that Sendak was _inside_ him had heat rising through him and suddenly it was all he could think about.

“Alright?” Sendak asked.

“Would you just- do it already!” Lotor bit out. “Just- stop wasting time.”

“I see,” Sendak said, but his tone sounded oddly sly. “As you say.”

He pulled out and flipped Lotor over, pulling his ass up into the air. Lotor flushed and curled his hands into fists over the sheets. This was so undignified. It didn’t help that he was painfully hard again, his cock heavy between his thighs. He tried to take deep breaths, pushing the shame away. There would be time to feel ashamed later, now he just had to wait until Sendak was finished with him.

Sendak slid his finger inside him again and Lotor couldn’t help flinching with a small moan. He bit his lip to try and stay quiet as Sendak worked him open, fucking into him slowly. He added another finger and Lotor’s eyes widened at the hot stretch of it, the burn. It was already nearly too much and Sendak’s cock was so much bigger.

“Relax,” Sendak murmured and Lotor tried, he really did.

“Just get _on_ with it,” he hissed only to yelp when Sendak slapped him on the ass. His muscles clenched at the sudden sharp pain and Sendak’s fingers inside him felt huge.

“Don’t rush me, you brat,” Sendak said.

“How dare you,” Lotor said, twisting to try and glare at him only to have Sendak grab him by the back of the neck, keeping him pressed down against the sheets. He was so furious and embarrassed at how turned on he was- at the slap, at Sendak’s tone, at his strong grip- that he’d nearly forgotten about Sendak’s fingers inside him. Which was when Sendak did something, curled his fingers somehow, and Lotor moaned loudly at the sudden pleasure bursting through him.

“That’s good,” Sendak murmured. “That’s more the sort of thing I’m interested in hearing from you right now.”

Lotor moaned again when Sendak curled his fingers once more, hitting that spot relentlessly as he pushed in and out. He gasped for breath, clawing at the sheets as he tried to remember what he’d been so angry about before. “You- you- impertinent deviant,” he managed breathily.

“I think you might be a deviant yourself, _Prince Lotor,”_ Sendak whispered into his ear as he added a third finger.

Lotor didn’t recognize the sounds that Sendak was pulling out of him. Surely that was someone else moaning wantonly and whispering for Sendak to hurry. Surely it wasn’t _him_ telling Sendak that he wanted more, _needed_ more.

“Hush sweetheart, easy now,” Sendak murmured as he pulled out and lined up his cock, holding Lotor tightly by the hips as he started to push inside.

Lotor’s breath caught in his throat at the stretch of it, the feeling of fullness. Sendak’s cock was slick and hard, ridged at the shaft. He could feel each one as Sendak slid inside and could hardly believe the way his body yielded to the intrusion. This was supposed to hurt- he was certain it was supposed to hurt. It was bliss instead and he couldn’t hold back moaning, crying out as Sendak started to thrust.

“Do you think you can come just from this?” Sendak asked, whispering right into his ear.

Lotor could only moan in response, barely registering the words. All he could feel was the in-out push of Sendak’s cock, the nearly unbearable fullness. The sounds they were making were obscene and Lotor’s heart was pounding so loudly it nearly drowned everything else out.

HIs whole body was trembling with the effort of staying up on his knees, his skin was slick with sweat. Sendak pushed his legs open wider and started thrusting in earnest, sliding his hand around to stroke Lotor’s cock as he did.

Lotor jerked in Sendak’s arms, completely undone by what he was feeling. He was so hard that it only took a few strokes until he fell over the edge, gasping for breath as he shuddered with pleasure, every muscle in his body tightening before releasing. He would have fallen to the bed if it weren’t for Sendak holding him up by the waist, still fucking him in an unsteady rhythm.

Sendak groaned and Lotor flushed at the burst of heat inside him, some of the haze of lust fading enough for him to feel embarrassed once again.

Finally Sendak pulled out and rolled away, letting Lotor collapse to the sheets, still fighting to catch his breath. He was utterly boneless, completely spent. He needed to leave but standing seemed unthinkable- surely his legs were shaking too hard to manage it. Somehow he rolled over to his back, wincing at the ache inside him. It wasn’t entirely unpleasant but he felt sore all the same.

Sendak stood and walked out into a room Lotor assumed was his en suite, returning with a damp washcloth and wiping at Lotor’s stomach.

“I don’t need you to do that,” Lotor muttered, taking the washcloth from him to finish cleaning up on his own. His words hadn’t come out nearly as disgruntled as he’d meant them to and Sendak simply smirked at him before lying back down beside him.

Once Lotor finished he dropped the washcloth to the floor with a frown and forced himself to sit up. “I’d better go,” he said, refusing to meet Sendak’s eyes. He’d said he wasn’t going to be Sendak’s slut but clearly he’d failed. He could hardly bear to think about what a show he’d made of himself- writhing on Sendak’s cock, moaning wantonly, _begging_ him for more.

“No,” Sendak said, wrapping an arm around Lotor’s waist and dragging him back into bed and against his chest.

“What do you mean _no?”_ Lotor demanded, trying to move out of his grasp.

“I mean _no,”_ Sendak said, pressing a kiss to the side of Lotor’s neck as he kept him pinned. “They’ll be patrolling the halls now, you’ll get caught. Wait a varga for the shift change, then you can go.”

Lotor stilled, closing his eyes and trying not enjoy the rumbling sound of pleasure that Sendak made. He could feel it like a vibration running through his body, an oddly relaxing sensation. And Sendak was so warm against him, his arm over Lotor’s waist so pleasantly heavy.

It didn’t really make sense, what he’d said. What did it matter if someone saw Lotor out in the halls? He was the prince- he could be where he liked.

But he wasn’t entirely sure he could walk at the moment anyway, and Sendak felt so good against him.

“Fine,” he said at last, letting himself relax into Sendak’s hold.

“Fine,” Sendak said, and Lotor wasn’t sure if he was imagining the faint note of fondness in his voice. “Rest now. I’ll wake you in a varga.”

Lotor nodded tightly. It was a bad idea to fall asleep here but he was so tired. He closed his eyes and listened to Sendak’s quiet even breathing behind him with a faint smile playing over his lips.

 

 


	2. The Test

 

* * *

 

“Commander, I have the latest prisoner manifest for your review,” Haxus said, setting the datapad onto his desk.

“Thank you,” Sendak said, picking it up and skimming through the list while Haxus turned to leave.

 _Ruktuv Drev - Prisoner 113-8934 - Espionage - Sentenced to the Arena for Life  
_ _Bel Zentoz - Prisoner 115-3742 - Dishonorable Conduct - Sentenced to 10 Matches in the Arena  
_ _Moklog Thok - Prisoner 113-8342 - Treason - Sentenced to Immediate Execution  
_ _Dhul Kraz - Prisoner 115-2413 - Dishonorable Conduct - Sentenced to 8 Matches in the Arena  
_ _Darnex Zev - Prisoner 115-2535 - Dishonorable Conduct - Sentenced to 12 Matches in the Arena  
_ _Prince Lotor - Prisoner 117-8942 - Dishonorable Conduct - Sentenced to 100 Matches in the Arena  
_ _Thev Bentiz - Prisoner 113-4682 -_

Wait a minute.

Sendak’s eyes widened as he looked back up the list. “Haxus!”

“Yes, sir?” Haxus asked, turning back.

“Is this correct? We have Prince Lotor in our brig?”

“Yes, sir,” Haxus said.

“And the sentence- one hundred matches. Surely that’s some sort of mistake?” Such a large number was unheard of. Few prisoners survived more than thirty or so matches, and those were the hardened warriors.

“The sentence comes straight from the Emperor,” Haxus said stiffly. “I believe everything is in order.”

“I see,” Sendak said slowly. “Have him brought to my rooms tonight.”

“Are you sure that’s wise, Commander?” Haxus asked, wrinkling his nose faintly in disgust. “There are other, more suitable prisoners in our brig. Fullblood Galra who’d surely be more pleasant to-”

“I believe I’ve made myself clear,” Sendak interrupted.

“Very well, Commander,” Haxus said with a small bow. “I’ll see to it.”

“Thank you, you’re dismissed.”

After Haxus was gone Sendak tried to figure out what exactly Lotor had been sentenced for. “Dishonorable Conduct” could mean any number of things. What could he have possibly done to deserve such a hefty punishment? But there were no records anywhere, just the prisoner manifest before him.

The rest of the day passed in a haze, and suddenly it was evening and there was some commotion outside his rooms. He stood just as the door opened, revealing two soldiers holding a struggling and indignant Lotor between them. They pushed him into the room and he stumbled with a sharp curse only to catch himself before he fell. He looked up and froze when he saw Sendak standing before him.

“Dismissed,” Sendak said and the soldiers turned to go, leaving him alone with Lotor.

Lotor was wearing a prison jumpsuit with a ratty shirt over it; his hair was a mess and there was a bruise over the side of his face. Sendak felt furious as he stared at the dark mark staining Lotor’s fine skin.

“Sendak,” Lotor said with a smile. “It’s been a while.”

Sendak frowned at the understatement. By his count it had been at least five decaphoebs since they’d last seen each other, ever since he’d been awarded his first Command and been forced to leave Lotor behind in the main system.

“I didn’t realize this was your ship,” Lotor continued casually, looking around the room with interest. “It seems you’ve done quite well for yourself. Congratulations, Commander.”

“Who did this?” Sendak demanded, striding over and gently setting his hand on Lotor’s face over the bruise.

Lotor shrugged. “The short one, I don’t know his name. He grabbed my ass, I kneed him in the balls, he punched me in the face. Consider the matter resolved.”

“Consider him dead,” Sendak hissed. “This is unacceptable. Have any of the other guards given you trouble?”

“There’s no need to be so dramatic,” Lotor said, rolling his eyes.

“Answer the question. Have any of the other guards given you trouble?”

Lotor’s eyes widened as he looked up into Sendak’s face. He licked his lips and when he spoke he was serious for once. “A few nasty looks, nothing more. Not yet, at least.”

“I’ll have some of my personal Sentries assigned to guard you.”

“Thank you,” Lotor said quietly. “Not that this reunion isn’t perfectly pleasant, but- why have you brought me here?” He smirked before continuing. “Would you like a fuck for old time’s sake?”

“So you can be sore for your match tomorrow?” Sendak asked. “I think not. I’ve brought you here for dinner, a bath, and a good night’s sleep. I can’t exactly disobey the Emperor or be seen to be giving you special treatment- but at least I can do that much under the guise of- well.”

“Oh,” Lotor said, taken aback. “Well. Thank you, I suppose.”

“Lotor, what the hell did you _do?_ Why are you here? A hundred matches… It may as well be a straight out execution.”

Lotor tightened his lips into a thin line and looked away, stepping out of Sendak’s reach.

“I dared to speak out against the witch’s experiments,” he said quietly. “She wants to build a machine, a device that would allow her to drain entire planets of their quintessence in mere doboshes. I said that was unconscionable. I argued for a better way. My father gave me a choice- to shut my mouth and learn my place, or to earn the right to run my own colony and prove myself. So here I am.”

“You self-righteous fool,” Sendak said, rubbing his eyes with a sigh. “And I suppose it’s too late to go back and apologize?”

“I’ll _never_ apologize,” Lotor hissed. “I’ll win the matches and then I’ll run my own colony and show my father that his witch’s methods are- are- _barbaric_ and- _inefficient_ on top of it all-”

“Relax, sweetheart,” Sendak murmured, reaching out to stroke Lotor’s face once again.

“I’m relaxed,” Lotor said with a faint smile, leaning into Sendak’s touch.

“Bathe,” Sendak said, jerking his head towards the en suite. “I’ll order dinner.”

“Such a generous jailor,” Lotor said with a smirk before leaning forward and pressing a kiss to Sendak’s lips. He flushed at the gesture, the attention. Their little _arrangement_ had lasted nearly ten decaphoebs, and from very early on he’d suspected that Lotor had been just as interested in it as he’d been. But there had always been doubt- until now.

Lotor went to bathe while Sendak ordered dinner, looking through the lineup of the matches while he waited. The first match was set on orders from the Emperor. Lotor was to fight one of Sendak’s best professional gladiators. He scowled as he realized perhaps this was meant to be an execution after all. Still- he knew for himself that Lotor was quite skilled. He was probably even better now than when they’d sparred last, and that time Lotor had won decisively and gloated about it until Sendak had shut him up.

He smiled as he remembered it- one of the rare times they’d dared to fuck in the training yard where anyone might have walked in. It had been the middle of the sleep cycle of course, and they’d set up alarms so they would have known well in advance if someone were coming. Still, it had been oddly exciting to have Lotor on his knees before him, swallowing down his cock expertly in the middle of the giant brightly-lit room-

Sendak was startled out of his thoughts by Sentries coming in with platters of food and setting them out over the dining table. Lotor emerged from the bathroom soon after, wearing one of Sendak’s soft bathrobes. It dwarfed him comically, making him seem even smaller than he was. Sendak’s mouth went dry with desire. It had been so long since he’d had his hands on Lotor, heard the pretty little sounds he made when he was overcome with pleasure.

“What a lovely spread,” Lotor said, sitting at the table across from Sendak.

“Yes,” Sendak said with a smile, not bothering to look at the table. “Help yourself.” He nodded towards the food, his heart fluttering with joy as he watched a smile spread over Lotor’s lips when he piled his plate high.

Sendak filled two wine glasses and pushed one over while Lotor grinned and brushed the hair back from his face. Sendak forced himself to eat as well, even though his mind was a haze of lust mixed with worry. He couldn’t get his mind off of _Lotor,_ here with him once again, naked under the robe. And even more visceral than that- he couldn’t help picturing Lotor fighting in the arena against some well-trained brute, couldn’t help picturing him falling to the sand with a spray of blood-

“You seem troubled,” Lotor said and Sendak startled, looking up. Lotor stood from the table and walked around it, settling in Sendak’s lap easily and wrapping his arms around his neck. Sendak wrapped an arm around Lotor’s waist in response. He felt just as good as Sendak remembered, his deceptively slim form containing coiled power.

“I am. Aren’t you?”

“Not at all,” Lotor murmured, stroking the edge of his ear ever so gently. A shiver ran up Sendak’s spine and he had to fight to keep his breathing even and his eyes open. He’d missed this so badly and now Lotor was here again under the worst possible circumstances. “You’re an excellent teacher. Do you doubt it?”

“No,” Sendak said. “No, I know well enough how capable you are. It’s just- a _hundred_ matches? It’s unheard of.”

“I suppose I’ll simply have to make history then,” Lotor said with an easy shrug.

“I seem to recall a time when you weren’t so arrogant,” Sendak growled, pinching Lotor’s ass through the robe and grinning at the resulting yelp.

“Rude,” Lotor murmured, leaning in to brush their lips together. “Do you have have control of the arena schedule?”

“Yes,” Sendak said. “But not your first match, that’s been decided by the Emperor. You’re to fight one of my best gladiators.”

“Excellent,” Lotor grinned.

“How is that _excellent?”_

“I’ll get a chance to prove myself early on, get the difficult matches out of the way first thing and so on.”

“You’re far too enthusiastic about all this,” Sendak muttered.

“And what is my alternative?” Lotor asked sharply. “Would it be better if I wept with despair? Shook with fear? This is the path I’ve chosen to walk.”

Sendak sighed and looked down. There was no point in arguing, there never was. Lotor had always been stubborn to a fault.

“Now,” Lotor said, his voice sweet again. He took Sendak’s chin in his elegant fingers and tipped his face up, forcing Sendak to look at him. “Surely you weren’t serious about your refusal to fuck me?”

“Lotor,” Sendak growled.

“I could _die_ tomorrow,” Lotor said with a pout. “Surely you won’t let me slip beyond the veil unfucked?”

“This isn’t a joke!” Sendak said.

“I’m entirely serious,” Lotor said and moved to kiss him.

Sendak managed a muffled noise of annoyance but how could he stay angry with Lotor in his arms? He opened his mouth and deepened the kiss, flushing at Lotor’s needy moan.

“I’ve missed this,” Lotor whispered, pulling back to kiss the sensitive spot under his ear. “Have you missed it too?”

“Yes,” Sendak breathed out, tightening his arms around Lotor’s waist.

“Then _take me,_ ” Lotor said before biting at his ear. “What are you waiting for?”

“Damn it,” Sendak growled, tightening his arms around Lotor before standing and carrying him over to the bed. Lotor laughed in delight as Sendak lowered him to the sheets and stepped back to unfasten his armor.

“I want you to schedule me for ten matches tomorrow,” Lotor said, tilting his head with a grin as he watched Sendak getting undressed.

Sendak froze with a sharp exhale, his eyes widening. “Are you _insane?”_ he demanded. “Ten matches on your first day?”

“You can’t expect me to languish here for decaphoebs, fighting one match per cycle like the rest of them.”

“You-” Sendak started and promptly stopped, not sure how to continue. “You- that’s-”

“Sendak,” Lotor said, looking up at him through his eyelashes. “My feelings are hurt. Do you really doubt me so much?”

“I- I don’t-”

Lotor laughed and surged forward, yanking Sendak down to the bed and moving to climb on top of him. The power play was obvious and infuriating and Sendak fought back, throwing Lotor off him. They tousled for a while, Sendak growling as Lotor slipped out of his hold time and time again, until somehow Lotor had him pinned beneath him.

“You’re not getting ten matches,” Sendak said breathlessly, distracted by Lotor’s mouth on his neck. Lotor was straddling him, pushing his ass shamelessly against Sendak’s erection. The little brat knew exactly what he was doing and damn it all- it was _working._ Sendak groaned as Lotor moved more firmly against him, taking his hands and pushing them above his head.

“Five matches then,” Lotor murmured.

“Lotor-” Sendak gasped just as Lotor moved to devour his mouth once again and then everything went hazy.

“Four,” Lotor said with a self-satisfied grin when he pulled back.

 _“No,”_ Sendak hissed, moving to take him by the waist and gasping in shock when he found he couldn’t move. He looked up to see that Lotor had used the belt of his robe to tie Sendak’s hands to the headboard while he’d been distracted.

Lotor laughed, throwing his head back in delight.

 _“Lotor,”_ Sendak growled, trying to pull his hands free with no success.

“Three, darling- but that’s my final offer.”

“Untie me,” Sendak demanded even as Lotor pulled off the robe the rest of the way and moved down to unfasten Sendak’s pants.

“Once you agree to my terms you can have anything you like,” Lotor said flippantly, pulling Sendak’s boots off for him. “Three matches tomorrow, and then… let’s say five per night until my sentence is served.”

“You conniving little shit,” Sendak said half-heartedly. He considered the ties around his wrists. If he put enough force into it he could probably break free, but the experience would be unpleasant to say the least. He could simply agree to Lotor’s terms and then do what he liked regardless, but the thought of doing that left a bad taste in his mouth. Their relationship, such as it was, was based on both of them staying true to their word. He wasn’t going to be the one to break it.

“Three matches tomorrow, and the rest will be under further discussion.”

“No,” Sendak hissed.

“Fine,” Lotor said.

“Fine!” Sendak exclaimed, only to groan and throw his head back when Lotor took his cock in his mouth. He was just as good at this as Sendak remembered, maybe even better. He bobbed up and down with little sounds of pleasure, taking as much as he could into his mouth. His tongue was hot and firm against the sensitive ridges of Sendak’s cock, the ring of his lips so perfectly taut. It was bliss to be trapped with Lotor’s mouth on him, Lotor’s hands on him.

Sendak completely forgot what they’d been discussing, his mind going hazy with pleasure. He was so close, one more touch and he’d-

“Three matches,” Lotor said with a smirk as he pulled back, leaving Sendak groaning in disappointment.

“You devious brat,” Sendak hissed. “You wicked little monster-”

“Three matches, darling.”

“Fine!” Sendak cried out. “Fine! Take what you want, just like always-”

“I intend to,” Lotor said with a laugh as he moved up to straddle Sendak’s hips, rubbing his ass against his slick and aching cock.

“Wait,” Sendak had the presence of mind to say. “Wait- I was serious. You shouldn’t be-”

“Sore?” Lotor asked, running his fingers playfully over Sendak’s heaving chest. “Then you’d better not thrust, darling. You’d better just lie there and take it.”

“Fuck,” Sendak groaned as Lotor sank down on his cock, taking him inside with a breathy moan. “Fuck- Lotor-”

“Ah,” Lotor gasped, screwing his eyes shut as he braced himself on Sendak’s chest. His cheeks were flushed and his lips parted as he panted quietly. He was so beautiful. He spread his thighs a little wider to angle his hips differently, his eyebrows drawing down in concentration.

“Here, sweetheart,” Sendak whispered, planting his feet on the bed and tilting his hips up so his cock would hit Lotor’s prostate.

“Ah!” Lotor cried out, his whole body trembling. “S-Sendak-”

“That’s it,” Sendak said, “come on.” Lotor started moving over him, rolling his hips and moaning with every thrust, and it took all his willpower not to thrust inside the tight heat of Lotor’s body. He tugged futilely at his bonds, more for something to focus on than an attempt to break free. He had no need for freedom, he was exactly where he wanted to be.

He bit his lip as he tried to hold back his orgasm, but each one of Lotor’s pretty gasps and moans made him feel like he was burning up with lust. He wanted Lotor to come first, he wanted to give him this, as little as it was. It was so hard to hold himself back, Lotor felt so perfect around him, looked so beautiful riding Sendak’s cock.

“Lotor, I’m close,” Sendak gasped.

“Sendak,” Lotor moaned. “Just a little more, just- just-”

“Touch yourself, sweetheart,” Sendak said. “Touch yourself for me.”

Lotor shivered as he moved to stroke himself and Sendak nearly came at the needy moan that fell from Lotor’s lips. His muscles tightened, clamping down on Sendak’s cock, and it was pure bliss. Lotor sped up even as the movement of his hips faltered, and then he arched his back with a cry, spilling all over Sendak’s stomach.

“Fuck,” Sendak groaned, shutting his eyes and letting himself thrust up into Lotor’s welcoming body. He was so close to the edge that it only took a few thrusts and he was coming too, sparks bursting over the backs of his eyelids.

Lotor laughed breathily and Sendak looked up at him just in time to see Lotor bending down to kiss him.

“Lotor,” he managed, turning away and pulling on his bonds.

“Patience, darling,” Lotor said, smiling against his lips before moving to untie him.

Sendak flipped him over with a growl. “Were you always this much of a terror?” he demanded while Lotor simply looked up at him, smiling. Sendak’s heart seized in his chest as he thought about what would happen tomorrow.

“Stop that,” Lotor said, snapping him out of his dark thoughts. “I’ll be fine. Now let me up so I can go clean up a bit.”

Sendak rolled off him with a heavy sigh, throwing an arm over his face as Lotor climbed off the bed. He startled when something heavy and damp dropped on his stomach and looked down to see a washcloth.

“Thank you,” he managed as he wiped himself off. “How do you feel?”

“Fine,” Lotor said, curling up against his side. “Everything’s fine. I promise you.”

“Alright,” Sendak said, wrapping an arm around Lotor and burying his face in Lotor’s hair. Lotor always kept his word, he wouldn’t have done this if he didn’t think he could handle it. And beyond that- there wasn’t much Sendak could do about any of it now.

 

* * *

 

It was a struggle but Sendak managed to keep his face blank as Vondak, his best gladiator, walked out onto the field. The crowd roared with excitement as Vondak raised his sword, hamming it up for the audience. Lotor’s welcome was far less enthused. The Galra in the stands murmured and whispered in surprise as they saw their prince striding onto the field in simple black armor, a helmet bearing a long white plume in one hand and a shining purple energy blade in the other.

“What is he wearing?” Zarkon asked, wrinkling his nose faintly.

Sendak had to grit his teeth to hold back a nasty retort. How could Zarkon do this? How could he punish his only son like this, and for simply speaking his mind?

“Forgive my impertinence, sire,” he said stiffly. “I issued Prince Lotor a suit of armor. I thought it would reflect badly on the crown for the Emperor’s own son to be seen in prisoner rags.” He'd be damned if he sent Lotor out into the pit with nothing but a thin jumpsuit for protection. He was a  _prince,_ and he deserved to be seen as such. He deserved so much more than what Sendak could give him.

“Very good, Commander,” Zarkon said, though Sendak could sense some annoyance in his tone. Did he _want_ Lotor humiliated before his people? Why?

“Would you care to do the honors, sire?” Sendak asked.

“This is your ship and your arena, Commander Sendak.”

“As you like,” Sendak said and turned to look down into the field. He raised his fist and a gong rang out, signaling the beginning of the match.

He watched with bated breath as Lotor and Vondak circled each other. Vondak struck first, the impatient fool, and Lotor easily twisted away from the attack. Oh but he was glorious, elegant and sure as he dodged all of Vondak’s clumsy attacks. The crowd was absolutely silent as they watched their prince in the arena. And then he went on the offensive, striking at Vondak with showy acrobatic moves that let him put the entire weight of his body into the force of his blows.

It was over surprisingly quickly with Vondak on his back with Lotor's foot on his chest and his sword at his throat.

Lotor pulled off his helmet to grin up at the royal dais where Sendak stood beside Zarkon.

“Bring on the next challenger!” he cried out victoriously.

Zarkon turned away from the arena with a sneer.

“You're not staying to watch, sire?” Sendak asked.

“I trust you to make sure everything is in order,” Zarkon said.

Sendak couldn't help but feel like what Zarkon meant was that he was trusting Sendak to make sure Lotor perished in the ring.

“Yes, sire,” he said, fighting to keep his face blank. Lotor would survive his matches, and anything else Zarkon would throw at him. Sendak would see to it himself.

Once Zarkon was gone Sendak looked back down into the arena, at Lotor standing tall and proud.

One match down. Ninety-nine to go.

Sendak raised his fist to signal the beginning of the next.

 

 


	3. The Fall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get ready for some angst (sorry)

 

* * *

 

They drank together in celebration when Lotor was awarded his first command- his Colony.

The parting was bittersweet but endlessly hopeful as Lotor promised to stay in touch and Sendak did the same.

By the time the news of the colony’s destruction reached him over two cycles had passed. Sendak couldn’t quite believe it. It was so sudden, everything had been going so well.

Too well, perhaps, but Sendak wasn’t sure how Zarkon could find fault in that. There was no sense in questioning it, the only question that had any meaning at all was the one that burned brightly in Sendak’s heart-

Where was Lotor?

It wasn’t in the official report but Sendak couldn’t believe he was dead or executed. He knew from past experience that Zarkon would have turned Lotor’s execution into public spectacle, a consolidation of power. But maybe not. Maybe he’d choose a different tactic this time, seeing as how Lotor had excelled in the arena. Still, Sendak could only hope that there would have been a trial- no doubt a rigged offensive charade, but a trial nonetheless.

So Lotor had to be out there. Somewhere.

Sendak still had some pull in Central Command and he used it to requisition records and prisoner manifests. He asked pointed questions and let quiet rumors slip past the right ears. He wasn’t as adept at scheming and secrecy as Lotor was, not by far, but he wasn’t a complete blundering fool either. In the dark underbelly of the Galra Empire it was known- Commander Sendak was looking for Prince Lotor and would pay handsomely to anyone who brought forward useful information.

It still took phoebs until some soldier with more courage and greed than sense snuck into a Druid lab and pulled the information directly from one of their computers. The little fool offered the data drive to Sendak with a jaunty smile. He didn’t see it coming when Sendak cut him down. He couldn’t leave any witnesses.

After that it was simple, if not easy.

Sendak found an excuse to divert his fleet, and then he took his private ship to the coordinates he’d gotten from the man who’d thought himself a clever spy.

The facility was on a planet called _Hyperion-Vos_. The data said ‘mining colony’ but in reality it was a small research station on an icy shard of an asteroid floating around a distant star. Sendak scanned the facility from orbit. It was hardly larger than a ship. It was a glorified shack atop some long-inactive mining equipment. There were no ships, not even a hangar. It was a prison with exactly one prisoner.

Sendak set down as close to the entrance as he could, putting on his helmet before braving the cold and the darkness of the walk to the door. It wasn’t locked.

He stepped inside a dimly lit hallway that only grew darker once the door shut behind him. The place was foreboding, silent as a tomb.

When he took off his helmet he saw his breath clouding up before his face. The air smelled musky and stale, he couldn’t hear the telltale sounds of a working filtration system. Suddenly there was a loud meow and he looked down at Kova, winding himself anxiously around his feet.

“Hey there,” Sendak said quietly, bending to take the cat in his arms. He explored the facility while Kova purred against him, though exploring was too fine a word. The hallway ended abruptly, opening up into a small storage room. Past that was another hallway, and another storage room, and then he walked out into what seemed to be some kind of command center.

The air was even more acrid in here, reeking of sweat and something sharper, something bitter. Kova hissed and jumped out of his arms as he took in the space.

There were three large monitors arranged at the back of the room, all showing hissing static, and a single chair. He could see instantly who was in that chair- Lotor, sprawled out with one foot propped up on a dilapidated console, one wrist hanging limp off the arm rest.

“What the fuck do you want now,” Lotor said harshly, not bothering to turn around.

“Lotor,” Sendak bit out.

There was a crash of broken glass- Lotor had dropped the cup he’d been holding. He straightened slowly and turned to see Sendak standing in the doorway, taking in the disturbing scene.

“Sendak,” Lotor said, eyes wide.

“Were you expecting someone else?” He wasn’t sure what he was feeling. His gut was churning unpleasantly.

“The soldier that delivers my supplies,” Lotor said. “Sometimes he comes in here to try to fuck me. What are you doing here?”

“What am I doing here?” Sendak asked incredulously. “What are you doing here?”

There were empty bottles strewn around the room haphazardly and he finally recognized the source of the sharp smell. Liquor.

Lotor got unsteadily to his feet, grabbing a bottle off the console and taking a deep drink. “What do you think?” he asked. “The only thing to do around here.” He laughed sharply and took another drink. His hair was mussed, his clothes ratty and in disarray. He looked horrible, and Sendak had seen him in the aftermath of a particularly brutal arena fight, had stitched up his wounds and washed the blood from his skin.

Somehow this bone deep weariness and despair was so much worse.

“Why aren’t you trying to- to- get _out,”_ Sendak demanded.

“Get out?” Lotor asked, his eyebrows drawing down into a frown. “How, pray tell, am I meant to do that? And where, exactly, am I meant to go?” He scoffed. “If you’ve come to lecture me, you can fuck off back to wherever you came from. But if you’ve come for a drink…” he spread his arms wide with a terrible grin, as if in a parody of welcome.

Before Sendak knew what he was doing he was striding over and yanking the bottle out of Lotor’s hand. “You’ve had _enough,”_ he hissed, slamming the bottle back to the console.

“No,” Lotor said sadly. “Not nearly enough.”

“Lotor…”

“Did you see?” Lotor asked, his voice rising unsteadily. “Did you see what he did? My- my- colony, my-”

“Yes,” Sendak said as gently as he could. “I did. I’m so sorry.”

“It wasn’t their fault,” Lotor said, lost and far away. “It wasn’t their fault. I was supposed to crush them under my heel but I worked with them, instead. Was that so bad? Was I so wrong?”

“I’m sorry,” Sendak whispered.

“It was better! My way was- was- better.”

Sendak could only watch as Lotor fell apart in front of him, running his hands restlessly through his greasy hair. Viscerally Sendak remembered how it felt to run his fingers through it, the way it fell over his skin, cool and smooth like silk.

“It wasn’t their fault, but they’re dead and I’m alive. They’re all dead.”

Sendak took a careful step closer but Lotor turned away to pace restlessly. “What would you have done, Sendak?” Lotor asked, looking back at him with a strange and terrifying wildness in his eyes. “If he’d told you to crush them under your heel. Would you have done it? Would you have destroyed innocents?”

He _had_ done it. He’d done that and so much more at the Emperor’s command. He swallowed nervously, his skin crawling as he realized he had no idea what was happening or what to do about it.

“Would you have? Or would you have disobeyed him?”

“That’s treason,” Sendak whispered, not sure what else to say.

Lotor’s expression shuttered abruptly and his face twisted into rage. “You disgust me,” he hissed, shoving Sendak hard in the chest.

He couldn’t help falling back a few steps in shock.

“You’re a monster,” Lotor said with impossible cruelty. “You’re just as bad as the rest of them. You’re just another dog.”

“Stop,” Sendak said.

“No!” Lotor yelled and Sendak flinched. “When have you ever stopped? When have you ever questioned your master’s commands?”

His eyes were glittering in the darkness. Sendak had never seen him look like this and he couldn’t help being afraid. He’d never been afraid of Lotor before, but now, here in this room, he couldn’t help shivering.

Lotor was silent for a moment, and when he spoke his words were sharper than knives, more painful than anything Sendak had felt before. “I hate you,” he said coldly.

“Lotor,” Sendak growled, using anger to hide his pain as he drew himself up to his full height. Did Lotor really think that? Did Lotor really hate him?

Lotor lashed out with a snarl and Sendak took him firmly by the wrists, dragging him close and wrapping his arms around him to still his struggling. “Stop it,” he said, fighting to stay calm. “I know you’re hurting, I know you’re lashing out- but I need you to stop. Please.”

Slowly Lotor stilled, and then he sobbed- heart-wrenching and desperate. Sendak tightened his arms, rocking him as they stood in the strange stillness of the room.

“I’m sorry,” Lotor said brokenly through his weeping. “I’m sorry. I’m- drunk. I’m- everything’s so- I’m not myself. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Please don’t leave me. I’ve been so alone, I- please, Sendak, don’t leave me, don’t go. Don’t go-”

“I won’t,” Sendak said as Lotor kept pleading with him. “I won’t go, I won’t. I- it’s alright. Everything’s alright, sweetheart, just- just- calm down. Calm down for me.”

It took ages, but finally Lotor calmed until he was trembling like a leaf in Sendak’s arms.

“Let’s… let’s get you cleaned up,” Sendak whispered. “You should rest. Sleep it off.”

Lotor nodded weakly and Sendak took him by the waist, supporting him as he looked around. There was only one other door in the room and Sendak went towards it, gratified to find a modest bedroom. There was a bathroom as well, and he sat Lotor down on the edge of the rusted-out tub while he fiddled with the water.

He frowned as he waited for the temperature to rise above lukewarm.

“How long does this damn thing take to heat up?” he muttered.

Lotor laughed, breathy and exhausted. “Forever,” he whispered. “That’s as good as it gets, darling.”

“Fine,” Sendak said firmly and moved to strip off his armor. If the water wasn’t going to get warm, he’d keep Lotor warm with his own body.

He stripped Lotor too, and then they were both standing under the weak spray while Sendak fought to keep his anger at bay. Lotor had been here for at least three phoebs now. Three phoebs of _this-_ filth and solitude, hopelessness. No wonder he was so wild. This was worse than prison, this was cold and calculated torture.

Slowly he washed Lotor’s hair, his skin. It seemed to take ages and near the end of it the water turned colder, leaving Lotor shivering against him. Finally he shut it off and wrapped a towel around Lotor’s shoulders, trying to rub some warmth into his skin.

“Don’t leave,” Lotor whispered as Sendak carried him over to the bed.

“I won’t,” he said, lying down beside him and pulling the sheets over them both. They smelled faintly musty, but they were warm at least, and Lotor was turning to press into his arms.

He shouldn’t have been surprised, but was when Lotor turned and kissed him, sloppy and desperate.

“We shouldn’t,” Sendak said, turning his face away.

“Sendak, please,” Lotor whispered. “I need you.”

“You- you’re drunk, and-”

“Not that drunk,” Lotor said vehemently. “Please. I’ve been so alone, so lonely- I just- It’s cold here, I need something good. I need you.”

“Lotor…” Sendak tried again, even as his resolve failed him.

“I can hear them screaming,” Lotor said. “Every night, I can- I see them. I need you to make me forget. Just this once, just for a- a- second. I just need- You’re the only one, Sendak. You’re the only one who can help me. I’m begging you.”

“Alright,” Sendak breathed out. “Alright, I’ll-”

Lotor leaned in to take his lips in a kiss, and even though his breath was faintly sour with drink Sendak still couldn’t get enough. It had been deca-phoebs since they’d been together like this, and he’d been so worried for so long. In the morning they could figure out what to do, but for now maybe they could have this, take comfort in each other.

Sendak smoothed his hands down Lotor’s chest and the whimpers that fell from his lips sounded just as pained as they were relieved.

There were bruises and scars marring Lotor’s skin, both old and fresh. He seemed thinner than before, his ribs more pronounced. But he was still painfully beautiful, and he still clutched at Sendak as though he needed him more than air. It almost hurt, how desperate Lotor was for him, and Sendak couldn’t stop himself from trying to give him everything.

He slid down Lotor’s body to take his cock in his mouth, holding his hips down against the bed to keep him from bucking up. Lotor’s fingers were tangled in the hair of his crest, his thighs splayed wide and trembling.

“I want you inside me,” Lotor managed, his voice so raw it made Sendak’s heart ache.

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” Sendak said quietly. He hadn’t brought oil, didn’t think Lotor had any either, by the looks of his bedroom. He didn’t even have pillows. Maybe, at a different time, a better time when they were both relaxed and in good spirits, Lotor could have taken him with just his natural slick. But Lotor was tense and oddly brittle, and Sendak didn’t want to hurt him further.

“I don’t care,” Lotor hissed. “I don’t care if it hurts, if it’s-” he broke off with a shuddering sigh, throwing his hand over his eyes. “If it hurts, I deserve it. But I need you. I just. I need you. Please.”

Sendak pulled back and took him by the hips, flipping him over to his belly. Before Lotor could do little more than gasp Sendak was back, lifting him up, spreading him open. He licked at Lotor’s entrance while Lotor mewled in shock and clutched at the threadbare sheets. He licked into Lotor’s heat, opening him up with his tongue while Lotor cried out and writhed beneath him. 

At a different time, a better time, Lotor might have laughed and called him a deviant, might have made light of what Sendak was doing to him. Now he was too gone and desperate to complain, too devastated to joke and play.

Maybe after, they could have this again. Maybe after, they could have everything again, gentle and sweet with Lotor slowly opening to him. Now, Lotor cried out and dug his claws into the mattress, too gone to say much of anything at all.

“It’s alright, sweetheart,” Sendak said quietly as he moved up Lotor’s body and lined himself up, nosing at Lotor’s neck. “Everything’s going to be alright.” He pushed in while Lotor jerked and shuddered against him.

When he bottomed out Lotor went still, breathing hard, and Sendak waited until he started hitching his hips up impatiently before he allowed himself to thrust.

 _“Sendak,”_ Lotor moaned, and Sendak reached around to tug at his cock while he fucked into him, trying to go slow even as his skin felt like it was on fire.

It didn’t last long, they were both too needy for that. Sendak only had the presence of mind to make sure Lotor came first, and then he let himself lose control, thrusting wildly a few more times before he was coming too, groaning against Lotor’s sweat-slick skin.

He pulled out and drew Lotor into his arms, pressing gentle kisses to his neck and running his fingers through his damp hair. “It’s going to be alright,” he whispered while Lotor relaxed into his hold.

It would be, somehow. He didn’t know exactly how just yet, but they could figure it out together.

 

* * *

 

Sendak woke to an empty room, reaching out blindly for Lotor and frowning as his hand found a crumpled scrap of paper.

He couldn’t quite understand what he was looking at as he stared at the terse message.

_Don’t come after me._

What?

He sat up abruptly, looking around. The room was silent, empty in a way that felt final. Even as he stood and got dressed in his armor, he knew what he would find. Or what he wouldn’t find.

Lotor and Kova were gone. His communicator was gone. When he went out into the main control room to check the limited sensors it was to find that his ship was gone too.

He sighed sharply and sat down in the chair he’d found Lotor in last night, not entirely sure what was happening.

It dawned on him over the course of the next three quintants, like a horrible truth rearing its head.

Lotor had taken his ship and left him stranded here, in the place of his exile. He’d left him to die.

So it was true, then. What he’d said.

_I hate you._

Sendak buried his face in his hands as the words shuddered through him like a bell tolling. Lotor hated him. Lotor had used him and left him behind, after everything.

Eventually Haxus came. Sendak had left instructions, rendezvous coordinates. He'd intended it to be a back-up plan, in case he crashed his ship, in case he was injured. In case of something horrible happening. He’d never envisioned anything as horrible as this.

_I hate you._

As he let Haxus take him back to his fleet he could only stare numbly at the stars around him, clenching his hand around the note Lotor had left.

Lotor had asked him what he would have done, and at the time Sendak hadn’t had an answer. He still didn’t have one, all he had was the conviction that they would have figured it out together. If they’d just had time- they would have figured it out together.

But they were out of time now. Lotor was gone.

_Don’t come after me._

It was over.

 

 


	4. The Kral Zera

 

* * *

 

Lotor made a point of being prepared for anything- _everything._

He was prepared for the possibility of seeing Sendak again. He knew that if he was still alive and conscious, he’d be at the Kral Zera.

He wasn’t prepared for how seeing Sendak would make him feel.

Weak in the knees, nauseous, lost, young again in a way he hadn’t felt in millennia. He was unprepared for the sudden realization that if Sendak had looked at him softly, had held out his hand, had called him _sweetheart-_

He might have fallen to his knees and begged for forgiveness. He might have let Sendak light the flame and thrown himself to his mercy.

But Sendak looked at him coldly and spoken to him harshly, challenged his right to rule in a way that proclaimed his undying loyalty to Zarkon. That should have made it easier, but it only made Lotor’s heart stutter in his chest.

They fought, and it was so heated Lotor barely registered the line-

“Killing you would be too merciful. Once I’m Emperor, I’m going to keep you as my slave!”

He didn’t let himself think too hard about the words. In another lifetime it would have been a joke between them, back when Lotor was a prisoner on Sendak’s ship. Sendak had taken every opportunity to spoil and pamper him, had teased that Lotor would make a better pet than a gladiator. Lotor had laughed along and called him a deviant, all the while letting himself enjoy the fantasy of a life of simplicity, kept safe under Sendak’s power- warm and loved and carefree.

In this lifetime he understood it for what it was- anger and vengeance turned to pointed hatred.

He didn’t answer. It was already taking all his strength to turn back Sendak’s blows, to hold his own against him. 

There had been a time when Lotor was a green youth and Sendak could have bested him easily. There had been a time when they were evenly matched through Sendak’s own efforts, and the outcome of the bout would have been unclear. There had been a time when maybe Sendak would have let him win, and supported his claim to the throne.

Lotor wasn’t sure where they were now.

They didn’t get a chance to find out, to settle things between them. The Blades had staged a sabotage and by the time Lotor had recovered from the explosion Sendak was gone.

He ascended the steps. He lit the flame. He looked at the rubble as he stood upon the pyramid- watching as Galra ships left orbit to deny his rule. He looked at who was left- the weak and the foolish, the cowardly.

They knelt for him and his heart sank with dread. It said much about what they thought of him- unfit, traitorous, cowardly. Halfbreed, worth less than half the kingdom. He was the rightful Emperor according to their ancient rituals and still they thought him unworthy.

Voltron stood behind him, another kind of betrayal, and in this moment that was meant to be full of triumph he could only feel as though he’d been brought low.

 

* * *

 

He read the reports, he knew what was happening. Sendak had taken the cream of the Empire and forged it into his own force- the Fire of Purification.

Lotor ran the calculations late into every night- his troops and weapons against Sendak’s, his strengths and weaknesses over that of his former lover- and he couldn’t help feeling as though he was coming up short every time.

The Paladins rejoiced and he forced himself to project an air of strength, but he knew that all it would take was one confrontation, and then it would be over.

Sendak knew it too.

Lotor’s heart was pounding with dread when he received the alert- incoming ships.

He went to the bridge and ordered them to raise their shields, waiting for Sendak’s arrival and the battle that would end him.

“The lead ship is hailing us,” his Lieutenant said.

“On screen,” Lotor answered, fighting to appear unconcerned as he sat sprawled in the captain’s chair.

Sendak’s face appeared on screen and it was all Lotor could do to keep his breath from hitching.

“Sendak,” he said.

“Lotor,” Sendak answered.

“Have you come to bend the knee?” he asked, forcing a cheeky smirk for the benefit of his crew.

“No,” Sendak said.

“I see,” Lotor said. “A shame. So you’ve come to be destroyed.”

“Not exactly,” Sendak said, and Lotor knew he wasn’t faking his confidence. He knew quite well that he had Lotor outmatched. 

Lotor raised his eyebrows expectantly, trying to hide the fact that he had nothing left to say.

“I have a proposition for you,” Sendak said.

“Oh?”

“I’d like to challenge you to a duel. If you win- my men will join you and bend the knee, swear themselves to you as their rightful Emperor. And if not, you will concede your title to me.”

“Why should I entertain this farce?” Lotor asked, fighting to stay calm. “I am the Emperor. I’ve won the title rightfully during the Kral Zera.”

There were some that disputed it, some even within his own faction. The involvement of the Blades, the involvement of Voltron- it had all made his claim so painfully unclear. But he’d lit the flame all the same, and he would only weaken his position if he bowed to doubt.

“We could settle this between the two of us, or you could drag us into civil war.”

Lotor stood abruptly from his seat. “You’re the one dragging us into civil war,” he declared. “You’re the traitor who raised an army against your rightful Emperor.”

“I think you understand full well that the legitimacy of your claim is in question. But even if it weren’t- I think you’d do anything to avoid conflict,” Sendak countered. “You’d do anything to avoid unnecessary bloodshed.”

“You seem awfully sure of yourself,” Lotor answered.

“I know you quite well,” Sendak said, tilting his head to the side. “Don’t I? Sweetheart.”

All of a sudden Lotor couldn’t breathe. The word was a knife lodged in his ribs, a sharp admission to what they had meant to each other in long-gone days. What they didn’t mean to each other now. 

Sendak watched with cool eyes and it was all Lotor could do not to react. He couldn’t react, or he’d lose everything. He wasn’t entirely sure he was unwilling to lose it, if Sendak would only look at him as he used to, touch him as he used to.

So much of his life had been wasted on ambition, not for its own sake but with the goal of peace, an end to suffering- his own and everyone else’s. But at the end of it all he was still just a man. He still ached for tender touches and understanding, for trust and love and someone who _saw_ him. Sendak had been that to him once, until Lotor had burned it all down.

The Galra on his bridge shifted awkwardly, not sure how to take the term of endearment. Most would consider it a taunt. Some would consider it an insult, a way to belittle him. None knew the truth, not even Lotor. It could well be a taunt on Sendak’s part, using their history to hurt him. 

Was it possible it could be an open door?

But what were the chances that Sendak would wish anything but death on him after what had happened between them?

Lotor bit his lip. He could only hope against hope that he wasn’t making a mistake. “Are you quite sure of that?” he asked quietly. “Darling.”

The whispers grew louder. There was no reason for anyone to think that this was anything more than an exchange of insults. There was no reason for Lotor to think this was anything more deep than what it appeared. There was no reason for him to think that Sendak would- that he would still- that he’d-

Lotor shut the thought down brutally, refusing to get distracted.

It was too late. He was distracted just by the way Sendak was looking at him. It had been so long since he’d had his full attention like this. And oh but it still felt so good, even if it was only hatred.

He wasn’t entirely sure he could win. He was already so turned around and lost. But- even if he lost, there would be an end to the fighting. Sendak would take over and Lotor could rest at last, dead or otherwise incapacitated. He was so tired of fighting, of scheming. Suddenly this oddly clear solution felt like the only answer.

“Three vargas,” Sendak said. “We meet at Hyperion-Vos.”

Lotor’s blood ran cold. So it was revenge after all.

“Yes,” he said, and had his men set a course.

There was no preparing for this, nothing he could do but wait.

Finally it was time and he descended to the surface in a fighter ship, where Sendak was already waiting.

Idly Lotor wondered about the compound where they’d last seen each other as lovers. The facility had been falling apart even then, and now millennia had passed and it was gone. He wondered where it had been, if they were dueling in the graveyard of their love.

Lotor couldn’t decipher Sendak’s expression past his visor.

There were droids hovering in the air ready to film their fight, and they didn’t wait much longer to begin.

Lotor charged first. What else could he do?

They clashed in the ice, blow meeting blow. Lotor wasn’t familiar with Sendak’s fighting style anymore. They were different people now. Everything was different.

It felt more private than the Kral Zera, despite the fact that it was being broadcast throughout the Universe. He met Sendak strike for strike, and then, out of nowhere, Sendak faltered when he shouldn't have. Lotor took the chance that it wasn’t a feint and bore him down into the snow, breathing hard. He had his sword against Sendak’s neck and all of a sudden Sendak surrendered, tilting his chin up for the killing blow without fear.

“Finish it,” he said quietly, and in those two words Lotor realized that Sendak was just as exhausted as he was.

He should have finished it. The Galra way was victory or death. Leaving Sendak alive now would only dishonor him.

“Finish it,” Sendak growled in the face of Lotor’s hesitation.

There was no way Lotor could kill him, it simply wasn’t possible.

“No,” he said, drawing back. “I am the Emperor, so I’ll do as I like. You can’t kneel if you’re dead.”

He stood, holding his sword cautiously at his side.

Slowly Sendak rose, even slower- he knelt.

“Emperor Lotor,” he said quietly, ducking his head.

“Rise, Commander Sendak.” Lotor wanted to offer his hand but he wasn’t sure Sendak would take it, not now. Maybe not ever again. He couldn’t afford a slight like that while his entire Empire was watching.

Sendak stood. “The Fire of Purification is yours,” he said, “I serve at the pleasure of the Emperor.”

It was yet another moment that should have been triumphant but felt like ashes in his mouth. He needed this, but he didn’t want it.

He wanted Sendak to look at him with warm eyes, and to call him _sweetheart_ at least once more.

 

* * *

 

One duel, and his forces had more than doubled. One duel, and the Empire stood united. There were still some who grumbled, who hated that they were being ruled by a halfbreed. But the results of the duel had been widely broadcast and unquestionable.

Sendak had been defeated fairly and honorably. Sendak had knelt. Sendak had recognized his rule.

The logistics of integrating the two fleets were complicated, to say the least. The Fire of Purification saw Lotor’s faction as weaklings. Lotor’s faction saw Sendak’s men as opportunistic traitors.

They had feasts, they had tournaments. They had games and flight maneuvers, mock battles. They had real battles too, as they brought in the dregs of still-defiant Galra fleets. Slowly the rip began to mend. Sendak was an unobtrusive shadow standing at Lotor’s side, his right hand in practice if not in name. He enforced Lotor’s commands and kept a firm grip on the troops, appearing just when he was needed most to break up fights, to scold his men into obedience.

Lotor came upon him in the hallway once, holding himself tight and upright while a group of Galra cowered before him.

“-he is your _Emperor,_ and you will speak of him with respect-”

Lotor’s heart seized painfully in his chest and he quickly stepped back, out of sight. He let himself lean against the wall as he tried to steady himself. Sendak was talking, one of the men talked back. There was a slap as flesh met flesh, a grunt, receding footsteps.

Lotor wondered if Sendak would come this way and catch him leaning here against the wall, trembling like a virgin at the sound of his voice. If he did, it would be the first time they would have been alone together since Hyperion-Vos. What would Sendak say, in the privacy of the empty hallway? What could Lotor bring himself to say?

It turned out he needed to say nothing at all. Sendak never walked past.

 

* * *

 

Lotor’s hold on the Empire solidified, and that was when Sendak marched into the throne room, requesting an audience.

“What can I do for you, Commander?” Lotor asked as Sendak knelt before him.

“If it pleases the Emperor, I’d like to be assigned to a post on the border,” Sendak said, still looking down. “First and foremost I am a soldier. There is work to be done on the outskirts, I fear my strengths are wasted in Central Command.”

Lotor inhaled slowly and held the breath for a beat as his mind raced in a sickening swirl. Sendak was asking to leave.

“Leave us,” he ordered and the room emptied until there was silence. Distantly he felt fear at being alone together after so long. But that fear was nothing to the greater terror of being without Sendak once again. Even their cold strained silence was better than that.

Sendak didn’t move, keeping his eyes low as he waited patiently for Lotor’s decision.

“No,” Lotor said.

Sendak looked up in surprise. “Sire-”

“Don’t call me that,” Lotor interrupted, suddenly angry. “Don’t you call me that, not while we’re alone. I said no. It would not please me for you to leave my side.”

Sendak startled, his nostrils flaring.

He wasn’t sure how to interpret the expression on Sendak’s face. He wanted to rise, to walk closer. But he was frozen as he sat sprawled on the throne.

“Why did you throw the duel,” Lotor asked flatly.

Sendak’s eyes widened in shock and he looked around nervously like he was afraid someone would overhear them. “I did no such thing.”

“We both know you did,” Lotor pushed. “Why.”

“Isn’t it obvious? So you would be Emperor,” Sendak said harshly. “Why would you want me to stay, after you-” he broke off, closing his eyes as he clearly fought to calm himself. “You threw me away like trash, like I meant nothing to you, and now you have no further need of me. So why-”

“I wanted you to come _with_ me,” Lotor hissed, gripping the arms of the throne and leaning forward. “I wanted you to- I wanted.” He sighed sharply. “You were all I ever truly wanted.” 

The admission hurt, an old scar suddenly reopened and bleeding, leaving him weak.

“You wouldn’t,” Lotor said, the words echoing in the cavernous hall. “You said you wouldn’t disobey your Emperor.”

“Is that what I said?” Sendak asked quietly. “You’ve always been putting words in my mouth, thoughts in my head. You never asked.”

“I asked!” Lotor said, his voice rising desperately. “I asked, and you- you said-”

“You asked if I would disobey the Emperor,” Sendak said, rising slowly to his feet. “I said that would be treason. What else was I to say? It was a pure statement of fact. Is it so hard to believe that it would take me more than a moment to consider if I would be willing to turn my back on everything I’d been taught to hold dear?”

“Would you have?” Lotor asked, afraid of the answer. His heart ached. This was nearly too much to bear. “Would you have come with me?”

“I don’t know. I have no idea what I would have done. You never gave me a chance. You simply left me to die.”

“Oh,” Lotor whispered, heartbroken. “Is that what you think? Is that what you’ve really thought all this time?”

The ache grew deeper until he couldn’t quite catch his breath. Sendak thought Lotor had left him to die. And still, he’d taken control of the Galra faction that would never have bowed to him. He’d taken them and bound them together, and then he’d delivered them into Lotor’s hands like a neatly-wrapped gift. And he’d done it through a duel in which he’d been expecting Lotor to take his life.

“What was I supposed to think?” Sendak asked bitterly. “You left me stranded with no way to even send a message. You left me to rot.”

“Anything more would have implicated you in my escape.”

He felt numb as he considered that Sendak had really thought him capable of something so terribly cruel. After everything they’d meant to each other, Sendak had thought him a cold bloodless monster.

“I put you in an embarrassing situation,” he forced himself to continue. He’d never thought he would need to explain this. He’d thought that Sendak understood him better than this. But here it was, and Sendak was right- maybe Lotor had been putting thoughts in his mind. Maybe Lotor hadn’t really understood him either.

“But one that would let you keep your loyalty to your Emperor. I knew you would have set up a back-up plan with your Lieutenant. And if not- it would have only been a cycle until the next delivery run. They wouldn’t have left you there. One way or another, I knew you’d get out.”

Sendak seemed shellshocked as he took in everything Lotor had said, and finally Lotor managed to muster the courage to stand. He walked forward in a daze and wasn’t sure why until he was sinking to his knees and reaching out to set his hands on Sendak’s armored thighs.

“I loved you,” he said, looking up into Sendak’s face. “I’ve always- I still- I love you.”

Sendak staggered back from him with a look like horror in his eyes and Lotor wrapped his arms around himself as he slumped on the ground.

“Why would you-” Sendak started and stopped. “You said you hated me.”

“I lied,” Lotor whispered, looking down. “I thought if I said it, it would make it easier-”

 _“Easier for who?”_ Sendak shouted and Lotor flinched, tightening his arms around himself as thought that might still his trembling.

“For both of us,” Lotor said. “For- for when it was over.”

“Damn you,” Sendak hissed. “Damn you to hell. Why can’t you ever just say what you fucking _mean?”_

“I’m sorry,” Lotor whispered, keeping his face lowered. He couldn’t bear to look at Sendak just now. “You can leave, if that’s what you want. You can have anything you want. Everything. Take whatever you want, the throne if it pleases you. I won’t stop you.”

Sendak growled and then there was a hand on his arm, dragging him up. There was an arm around his waist and Sendak was kissing him furiously, more of a battle than a tender moment between lovers.

Lotor gasped and opened to him, too shocked to do anything else. He was dizzy. He wasn’t entirely sure his feet were touching the ground. Sendak’s tongue was in his mouth, Sendak’s smell clouding his mind, Sendak’s hand was in his hair, gripping hard to pull him closer. Sendak was everywhere, holding him so tight it almost hurt.

When Sendak finally let go Lotor stumbled back, still breathing hard.

“You know what I want,” Sendak said. “You’ve always known- since the beginning. So fix your hair and take me to bed. _Now.”_

Lotor ran his trembling fingers through his hair in a desperate attempt to smooth it back into place, still not sure this was really happening.

 _“Faster,”_ Sendak said, grabbing his wrist and dragging him out.

The guards stationed outside the door seemed shocked as they burst from the room. “E-Emperor?” they asked, dropping their hands uncertainly to their weapons.

Lotor wasn’t sure what he looked like in that moment, confused and hopeful and turned on, sure that he was in some dream as Sendak pulled him onwards. He didn’t have the strength to speak.

“At ease,” Sendak growled with unquestionable authority and then they were past.

Lotor was shaking as Sendak marched him onwards, past confused soldiers and then through empty corridors as they reached the Imperial chambers. He pushed open the door and suddenly they were alone and still Sendak didn’t stop, pulling him into the bedroom.

He paused briefly so he could sink his hand into Lotor’s hair and yank him sharply forward, crushing Lotor to him with an arm around his waist. They kissed and Lotor felt like he was being conquered, claimed. He could only moan into Sendak’s mouth and then it was suddenly over, Sendak pulling back to fumble at the catches of Lotor’s armor.

He was in too much of a stupor to help as Sendak stripped him until he was in his undersuit, and then Sendak was manhandling him to the bed and, shockingly, putting him over his knee.

Lotor flushed at the first sharp spank, gasping at the pain that burst into startling pleasure like an explosion in his mind. Sendak’s hand came down on his ass again and he tried to jerk away but it was no use. Sendak had pulled his arms behind his back, was holding both his wrists with his left hand as he spanked him with his right. It hurt, but it was strangely good too.

“You- stupid- fuck,” Sendak said, punctuating each word with a slap.

“Sendak-” Lotor gasped, trying to break out of his hold. He was ashamed, his ass smarting after every hit, and still he was hard as a rock against Sendak’s thigh.

“Shut up,” Sendak hissed. “You nearly ruined everything. Do you understand that? Everything.”

“Nearly?” Lotor laughed, breathy and just on the edge of hysteria.

Sendak slapped him again to shut him up and Lotor could only moan helplessly. Sendak ran his free hand down Lotor’s back, his claws catching on the fabric of his undersuit until he dug in and pulled to rip the fabric open.

Lotor gasped at that too, the feeling of cool air over abused flesh. He’d been naked with Sendak before but he’d never felt as exposed as this- lying over Sendak’s lap with his arms trapped behind his back, his ass uncovered while the rest of him was still clothed.

Sendak slapped him again, harder, and he cried out.

“Shut up,” Sendak said. “Or you’ll bring the guards in here and they’ll see you like this, bent over my knee while I teach you a lesson you won’t ever forget.”

He couldn’t help imagining it, guards bursting in to find him like this- an Emperor at the mercy of his Commander. He couldn’t help it, his cock twitched and he nearly came just from that. He’d never regretted being at Sendak’s mercy. And then Sendak’s hand came down and he couldn’t think anymore.

Now that his backside was bare the sounds were louder, more obscene. It rang through Lotor’s ears even as each blow chased the thoughts from his mind, leaving him blank and helpless. He felt like a wild animal, held down and mastered while he could do nothing about it. The pain mounted until he was drunk with it, whimpering and fighting to get away because it was all he could do- reduced to animal instinct even as he tried to push his aching cock harder against Sendak’s thigh beneath him.

“Look at you,” Sendak growled, speeding up while Lotor could only cry out, not sure if he was pushing away from his touch or into it. “You could have had this all along, but you thought you were being clever. Your cleverness ties you into knots. Sometimes, it’s best for you not to think at all.”

“S-Sendak,” Lotor sobbed, helpless tears rising to his eyes and spilling over. And that was strangely good too, a release he hadn’t had in a long time. “Sendak, please!”

“Please what?” Sendak asked, pausing to smooth his hand gently over heated flesh.

Lotor was trembling, over-sensitized. Even the air felt like too much against him, and then Sendak stroked him carefully with his claws and Lotor whined into the sheets. It was like lines of fire drawn over his skin. He could do nothing to stop it and somehow that only made it better.

“Please _what?”_ Sendak repeated in a tone that implied he wouldn’t repeat it again.

“Please,” Lotor breathed out. “Please take me. I want you-” he flushed, remembering the last time he’d said those words. “I want you inside me.”

“Do you really think you deserve that?” Sendak asked coldly and Lotor shivered.

“...No.”

“You’ll have it all the same,” Sendak answered. “Because I don’t play games with you. We’re finished with games now. You said I could take anything, and so I have. You’re mine now. Do you understand?”

“Yes,” Lotor whispered as joy bloomed inside his heart. “I understand.”

“Say it. Say you’re mine.”

Lotor flushed harder but in the end it wasn’t so difficult. “I’m yours,” he breathed out. “Sendak- I’m yours.”

“Don’t forget it,” Sendak said and slapped him once more, _hard._

Lotor cried out, jerking in his hold. His whole world was narrowed to where they were touching, to the way his skin burned after Sendak’s ministrations.

He wasn’t ready for it when Sendak let go of his hands and moved him to lie back on the sheets. Sendak ripped away the rest of his clothing and stood back, watching him imperiously as Lotor felt utterly useless. The soft blankets felt rough against the tender skin of his ass and thighs and he shifted nervously under Sendak’s gaze.

“Spread your legs,” Sendak ordered from where he stood at the foot of the bed.

Lotor was so flushed he felt faint, and still he did as he was told. He spread his legs obediently for Sendak’s gaze.

“Touch yourself.”

Lotor breathed out a harsh sigh and brought his hand down to wrap around his aching cock. Immediately the pressure was enough to make him groan and arch his back, fucking into his hand without quite meaning to.

His own touch had never felt this good, but Sendak was here, watching him-

“Slower.”

Lotor slowed down, biting his lip and barely daring to look at Sendak, still simply standing there.

He was so close, all it would take was a few strokes, another brief moment-

“Stop.”

Lotor whined in disappointment, tightening his hand despite himself. He couldn’t stop, he was so close.

“I said- _stop.”_

Lotor yanked his hand away from himself with a quiet growl, leaving himself quivering and straining uselessly against the air. It took a few painstakingly long beats to get himself back under control, but finally he opened his eyes to see Sendak slowly stripping before him, letting each piece of armor fall to the ground with a dull thunk.

“You’re mine, say it.”

“I’m yours,” Lotor said, clenching his hands into the sheets so he wouldn’t touch himself.

“Say it again.”

“I”m yours.”

Sendak was nearly naked now, unzipping his undersuit to reveal miles and miles of perfectly furred skin pulled over taut rippling muscle. He had scars Lotor didn’t recognize but he was still so painfully familiar, so perfect.

“Again,” Sendak growled.

“I’m yours,” Lotor gasped and Sendak was on him, kissing him desperately. His weight was a blessing, pushing Lotor down into the mattress. His teeth were sharp as he pulled away to nip at his ears, his neck, his shoulders. His chest was heaving where they were pressed together and it was bliss like Lotor had never known.

“I’m yours,” he chanted, unprompted. “Yours, yours, yours- Sendak!” he cried out, shuddering as Sendak let his fingers trail over his cock and lower, stroking over his twitching hole.

“Easy, sweetheart,” Sendak murmured and Lotor melted against him, content to simply bask in his presence, his touch and attention. Sendak reached out to root through his nightstand and then he had oil and his fingers were back, slick and hot and perfect.

Lotor cried out as the first one breached him, invading him so sweetly while he was powerless to stop it.

“You’re so tight, love,” Sendak whispered into his ear, surprised.

“I haven’t,” Lotor gasped. “Not for- for a while.” He’d taken other lovers of course, but he’d never let any of them do _this._ “Not since you.”

“Oh,” Sendak shuddered, stilling for a long strained moment before he resumed his smooth even motions. Lotor let his thighs fall open for him as he wrapped his arms around Sendak’s powerful shoulders.

It felt like the first time all over again, uncertain and new, strange and wonderful.

“Shh,” Sendak whispered, suddenly tender after his earlier roughness. His commanding tone melted into reassurance and Lotor was desperate for that too.

“I’m yours,” he whimpered as Sendak pushed a second finger inside and curled it upwards, hitting the spot that made Lotor light up with pleasure and his toes curl.

“I know,” Sendak whispered soothingly. “I know, sweetheart. Easy, now. Open up for me, let me inside.”

A sob shuddered out of Lotor’s throat unbidden and he could only hold on tighter. “Please,” he managed weakly. “Please, please- Sendak- I need-”

“I’ve got you,” Sendak said. “I’ve got you now. Just ease up for me.”

He added a third finger at last and Lotor screwed his eyes shut, moaning loudly. It felt amazing, but the best part of all was the knowledge that soon Lotor would have all of him.

He half expected Sendak to turn him around, put him on his stomach. He’d usually done that, before. He said it was easier and Lotor hadn’t protested. It had been too good to protest any of it, and most of the time he’d found it comforting to be able to hide the pleasure written over his face.

This time Sendak pulled his legs open before settling between, and he stroked Lotor’s smarting ass with his claws gently a few times before pushing inside for real.

Lotor gasped, every muscle clenching in shock at the intrusion. He thought he’d been ready, put apparently not ready enough.

Sendak shushed him, smoothing his palms over his chest and sides, and then he was pushing inside again, firm and unstoppable, and Lotor had no choice but to open for him. Sendak took one of Lotor’s legs to casually drape it over his shoulder, leaving him painfully open and vulnerable. And that was, oddly, easier somehow.

He slid in to the hilt while Lotor gasped for breath, and then he paused to whisper sweet nothings and call him _sweetheart_ and stroke his cock, just enough to keep him on the edge but not push him over.

When he moved at last Lotor moaned into the silence between them, loud and oddly shameless even though he had more to be ashamed of now than ever before. He thought of soldiers barging in here to check on him and his body tightened while Sendak grinned down at him, somehow painfully knowing.

“Look at you, pet,” he whispered, sending Lotor’s arousal burning to new heights. “So good for me. So eager. Did you miss this?” He punctuated his question with a pointed thrust and Lotor couldn’t breathe.

“Yes,” he managed, as Sendak continued his slow rolling thrusts. “Yes,” Lotor said. “Every day, every- every- n-night- ah!”

“You don’t have to miss me anymore,” Sendak growled, bending down to kiss him until he was breathless. “I’m here now. I’m here with you.”

And then, infuriatingly, he took Lotor’s wrist to stop his hand from inching towards his cock, and pushed it up above his head, followed soon after by the other.

Lotor whined and shifted against him restlessly. He was so hard, he just wanted release.

“Please,” he breathed out. “Let me come- I need to- just- please! You can keep going after, but I-”

“You forget yourself,” Sendak said. “You’re mine now, sweetheart. So you’ll do as I say. You can come on my cock or not at all.”

It should have been annoying, infuriating. Instead it was hopelessly arousing, and Lotor was so painfully aroused already. Sendak was moving perfectly inside him, and Sendak’s abs brushed minutely against his cock with each thrust. He was open and taken and helpless and somehow safe through it all and it was a combination that made his head spin.

He wrapped his legs fully around Sendak’s hips and arched up into him, sobbing with pleasure. It was so good, he wanted it to last forever. It was only thanks to Sendak that it had lasted this long at all, or else he would have spilled ages go just from kissing, touching himself, having Sendak touch him. He might have come from the spanking alone, if it had gone on much longer, and the thought had him flushing and biting his lip.

His body tightened, he was so close. He wanted so badly to let go. But something was keeping him back and it was a strange sort of agony. He just wanted release, he needed-

“Let go, sweetheart,” Sendak whispered and that was it, all it took. Lotor relaxed all at once, the wall suddenly falling because Sendak wanted it to and Sendak had the right to bring it down. Sendak was in charge now, and Lotor could relax into his care.

He shuddered on the next stroke that dragged so perfectly against every sensitive spot inside him, and then he was moaning and clenching, lost in the ache of pleasure exploding inside him, inevitable and unstoppable.

It was bliss ripping through him like a tidal wave, something devastating that left him haunted as Sendak groaned and slowed, his cock pulsing inside him.

“Fuck,” Sendak managed, pulling out as they both groaned with the loss of it. “Oh gods,” he muttered, pulling Lotor close and wrapping himself around him, nuzzling into his damp sweaty hair.

“Sendak,” Lotor breathed out, happy again after such a long time. It felt strange, a fluttering feeling in his chest that he feared wouldn’t last. But Sendak was holding him, and for once he was not afraid.

He was being lulled towards sleep but he forced himself to rouse, to try and sit up. He needed a washcloth, he needed to clean up-

“No,” Sendak growled in warning, pulling him closer.

“I’ll be right back,” Lotor said with a quiet laugh. “I just want to clean up a bit-”

“No,” Sendak said, more firmly. “I want you waking up covered in cum, so in the morning you’ll remember who you belong to.”

“Disgusting,” Lotor managed, fondly.

“I don’t care,” Sendak grumbled against the nape of his neck. “You knew all along you were getting involved with a deviant.”

“I might be a deviant myself,” Lotor breathed out quietly.

He’d regret it in the morning, but for now it felt so good not to move.

“Might be,” Sendak snorted in amusement, holding him closer and moving to lie half on top of him, pushing his thick thigh between Lotor’s legs. “Shut up and sleep. I’ll need you well rested for what I plan to do to you in the morning.”

“And what’s that?” Lotor asked, flushing all over as his exhausted dick tried, uselessly, to stir.

“You’ll have to wait and see,” Sendak murmured, tightening his hold. “Lotor,” he whispered, once Lotor was on the verge of sleep.

He roused enough to make a sleepy noise, moving just enough to show he was still awake.

“I love you,” Sendak whispered. “I have for a long while. And I never intend to stop. Do you understand?”

“Yes,” Lotor whispered, filled with happiness he’d never known. “Yes, I understand.”

“Say it again,” Sendak breathed out against his ear, making him shiver.

“I’m yours,” Lotor said, so delicately that the words hung between them like smoke.

“I’m yours too,” Sendak said in response, and Lotor could feel the shape of his promise as Sendak’s lips dragged along his skin.

  


_fin._

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr at [barbitone](http://barbitone.tumblr.com/) and pillowfort also at [barbitone](https://www.pillowfort.io/barbitone)


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